Italian food recipe for a husband who won't eat his veg

Me: “Let’s get some tomatoes.”

Husband: “No, I’m off tomatoes.”

Me: “You’ve been off tomatoes forever.”

Husband: “Well, I still am.”

Me: “Okay, then. So what do you want?”

Husband, looking around: “Oooh! There’s some bocconcini over there.”

Me: “That’s not veg. What veg do you want?”

Husband, walking toward the bocconcini: "Do you know it means mouthfuls in Italian. That's because it is so small you could pop one into your mouth. Get it?"

Me: "Yes. Yeah, I get it. We still need veg."

Husband: “My mother used to make a salad of it with red wine vinegar and tomatoes. Tomatoes are veg. So let’s get that and some tomatoes.”

Me: “I thought you were off tomatoes.”

Husband: “I am.”
My mother-in-law's recipe for bocconcini as told by my insane husband

A couple of handfuls of bocconcini*
A generous splash of red wine vinegar (3 - 4 tablespoons)
2 sliced tomatoes
1 clove finely minced garlic
Olive oil (2 - 3 tablespoons)
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Mix and enjoy.
*If you are nervous about trying bocconcini, don't be. It is just small balls of very fresh mozzarella packaged in a container with whey (just pour the liquid down the drain).
Husband: "Tell people they don't have to cook this, it's that easy."

Me: "This is a food blog. The people who read this are probably all really comfortable in the kitchen."

Husband: "Well, they still don't have to cook it."