White Castle Soufflé: Scarier-than-thou food recipe (but they get points for creativity)

In a land of scarier-than-thou inventions like Miracle Whip and Chia Pets, one of the scariest things around are recipes that use White Castle hamburgers.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with White Castle (which is everyone who does not live in the eastern half of the states where their fast food joints are located and who has not noticed those boxes of frozen hamburgers in their freezer section), let me introduce you. You, White Castle. White Castle, you.

White Castle, you see, was the stuff dreams were made of for me before the tragic event I like to call "mother discovered nutrition and we were forced to say buh-bye to perfectly good food like frozen dinners and bologna."

The thing that makes White Caste special - their gimmick, you could say - is that the hamburgers are tiny. No, I mean tiny. Tiny as in, girls who want to stay slim order three (boys, with no such compunction, order 10).

That tiny.

But now White Castle, not content at merely being the only tiny hamburger around (or, at least, the only one I have ever heard of) is looking to expand their realm as we expand our waistlines. And they are doing this by offering recipes that use White Castle hamburgers as a key ingredient.

A cooked White Castle hamburger. As an ingredient. Not kidding. As in, take 10 White Castle hamburgers, chop them up, add . . . well, you get the picture.

Want a taste of the sort of thing you, too, can whip up in the convenience of your home? Try the White Castle Soufflé (yes, soufflé). It calls for, among other things, 12 White Castle hamburgers, no pickle (No pickle? No pickle? Well, that's okay, then, isn't it?!), 1 cup cheese, and 1 container sour cream.

Are you frightened? You are not alone.

I'm too scared to try this recipe. As a matter of fact, I am also too scared to try the recipe for bologna I (oh so proudly) invented. That I was a child of seven is, I appreciate, very little excuse.

So I will give you a choice. You can try the White Castle soufflé. You can try my bologna recipe (below). Or you can go to a Saturday farmer's market and get something nice and healthy. Me, I'm heading for the market as soon as this blog posts.
Food recipe: Bologna Rolls
1 package bologna
1 container yellow mustard
1 package of toothpicks, preferably the ones with the frilly bits at one end

Take a slice of bologna. Smear it with yellow mustard. Roll. Impale with toothpick. And, heaven help you, repeat until you have as many slices as you like. Then say buh bye to fast food and go to the market.