Thanks to Kraft we are ingesting one ingredient that is used in sexual lubricants and another used as a hemorrhoid cream

Once upon a time I was smart enough to stay away from Kraft Jello and Kraft Velveeta and Kraft Cheez Whiz and Kraft Miracle Whip. But I did used to buy Kraft Cool Whip, heaven help me.

I didn't know you could make your own. And I certainly didn't know I was ingesting one product that was used as a sexual lubricant and another product used as a hemorrhoid cream.

But now I know better.

Kraft Cool Whip
Here are the ingredients in regular Cool Whip:
Water, corn syrup, hydrogenated vegetable oil (coconut and palm kernel oils), high fructose corn syrup, less than 2% of sodium caseinate (from milk), natural and artificial flavor, xanthan and guar gums, polysorbate 60, sorbitan monostearate, beta carotene (color)

Ingredients are listed in descending order of use. Which means, I was mostly paying for water. After that, I was paying for a sugar (corn syrup) an oil and another sugar (the processed high fructose corn syrup). And so on. Good use of my money, eh?

But the stomach-turning stuff comes at the end of this list.

One ingredient can also be found in sexual lubricants; another in hemorrhoid creams
According to Wired Magazine, some of these ingredients have all sorts of fun uses.

Specifically, Polysorbate 60 is also "... a major ingredient in some sexual lubricants" and Sorbitan Monostearate is "... sometimes used as a hemorrhoid cream."

Tasty, eh?

Make your own: Incredibly easy and tasty
Buy whipping cream. Put it into a plastic container (an old yogurt container does nicely). Shake good and hard for a few minutes. Woo hoo! Whipped cream! And the ingredient list is a lengthy one item: Cream!

Want it sweeter? Add a spoonful or two of sugar beforehand. Want it to taste like vanilla? Put in a teaspoon of vanilla. Or some lemon zest. Or a dash of rum. Or a sprinkle of cinnamon. Or ... whatever you want.

Bonus: Not only is it sans high fructose corn syrup, but if you get the kids to do the shaking, you can burn off some of their excess energy!

Make your own: Incredibly easy and tasty and pretty
Follow all the above instructions except for one: Substitute a whipper for your old yogurt container. Then you can squirt it out in all sorts of pretty make-Martha-Stewart-proud designs.