An open letter to my neighbors regarding a little, innocent thievery and a thirst-quenching recipe

Dear Neighbors,

First, I must start by apologizing. I am sorry. Truly sorry. If it helps any to know (and I tell you this by way of explanation, not by way of excuse), I’ve spent most of my life in a world where the only thing growing anywhere was concrete.

Sure, sometimes there was a tempting brick or two, but never was there any greenery that said, “Pick me.” Mostly the greenery in my part of the world said, “Leave me alone, I’m limp and I smell like boiled cabbage.”

But yesterday I was tempted. And yesterday I succumbed.

I stole a lime.

It was just one lime. And it was growing on a tree with about a million other limes. But it was the biggest, greenest, most fragrant lime I had ever seen. So I, totally unthinkingly, just reached over and plucked.

Well, okay, I had to yank for like a minute, but it felt like a second.

And I feel badly. Not a lot badly. I mean, after all, it’s not like it was a lemon or anything. Not that I haven’t stolen lemons for which I am, of course, truly sorry and, erm, let’s stick to the point.

Where was I?

Yes. Apology. I apologize.

Not that I won’t do it again. I bet I will. Why, when I see those gorgeous fruits, this madness just takes over me. Especially if they are hanging practically over the sidewalk and all I have to do is move a few or ten feet to get to the tree and ... you know.

No. I must learn self-control. Problem is, there is an apple tree just down the street and I crave apples and no one can eat all those and I can almost just reach it from the sidewalk and ...

On the other hand, I don’t sample at the grocery store. Now that would be wicked.
Wonderfully refreshing recipe for limeade
Here is my recipe for limeade. It does call, alas, for more than one lime. I could make a very small quantity of it. Or, of course, I could go for a little walk, just up the street, and, erm, ...

Juice from 15 freshly squeezed limes
1 cup sugar (confectioners dissolves best, but is not required) or other sweetener, to taste
2 cups icy water
10 ice cubes

Pour everything but the ice cubes into a frosty pitcher. Stir like crazy to dissolve the sugar. Gently (so as not to splash) add the ice cubes. If the neighbor is growing mint, add a leaf or two.